Shadow work is often referred to as a scary topic. Like many, that is one way to choose to look at it. Or, we can be realistic. Running from our emotional self has never served our highest good. We were taught to fear what we did not understand. Stopping the rat race and facing the truth shall set you free of that burden. Unlocking that door, having access to that shadow allows the abundance you seek!
What is the Shadow?
Our skeletons in the closet. The shadow is referred to as the "dark side" of our personality, the version of ourselves we deny. It derives from Jungian psychology, by Carl Jung. This is the side of ourselves we try to control and prevent society from seeing. The shadow self challenges you to face those primitive instincts that you're often conditioned to suppress. Well, there is no suppressing the inevitability of all parts of you finding a way to come alive. Shadow self can manifest as: jealousy, greed, anger, resentment, manipulation, or the desires of the dark is what I like to call them. These are often defense mechanisms of the shadow self. There is no denial of self when its existence is persistent. Just because you choose to look away from the screaming baby doesn't mean the screaming baby will suddenly be okay or go away.
Finding a way to make peace with the rejection within ourselves is essential. In order to stop denying ourselves basic human instincts. This is where mental health starts! Everyone has a shadow just as everyone gets naked when they shower. There are no exceptions here. It is usually taught through the environment within childhood or conditioning through society and its standards.
Where is the Shadow Born?
The shadow comes from those moments you lashed out as a kid and you were punished for it. It comes from those moments you expressed anger and you were told it was wrong. The shadow is born through repression. The shadow is also born through society's standards of morals for “human behavior”. The conditioning to be emotionally and intellectually co-dependent.
The shadow is born when we are forced to suppress human instincts. Rather than being told that anger is bad or that your survival instincts make you evil, we should be taught how to balance and cope. How to express ourselves in a healthy way. Not forced to compartmentalize because truthfully, we are not educated enough in how to express those shadow emotions.
Tough Pill to Swallow
It can be a tough pill to swallow initially, understanding how the things in your life are a reflection of chaos within yourself. It can be tough to take that accountability. Your reality is a reflection of your mind. I like to refer to the shadow self as the chair of laundry in the corner of the room or the miscellaneous drawer you keep telling yourself you're going to get to but don't. This pain and suffering needs to be acknowledged and nurtured for the benefit of yourself as well as your collective. The level of honesty often required to reach your shadow self can seem brutal without compassion. We have to change our minds in thinking that darkness is negative. It is not always easy to accept our flaws, mistakes, and shortcomings. The empowerment on the other side makes the darkness just as worthy as the light. The more you suppress your subconscious mind the more it controls you and distorts your reality. Surrender to the shadow.
A New Perspective
Taking a new perspective entirely allows you liberty. What is evil? What is darkness? What is negative? All of these perspectives are simply in relation to another. One has been deemed supreme based on bias judgement. Enlightenment frees you from observing with judgement. Allowing the gift of understanding and seeing reflections of yourself in another understanding what it is like to be whole in your human experience.
How is this beneficial?
We often lack depth when we choose to focus on the love and light of all things. There is no real substance to that when you know that life is of abundant reflections and understanding comes in oneness. It's really basic math and not hippy science.
Working on the parts of yourself that have compartmentalized your trauma helps you with:
Improving Relationships
Clearer Perception
Enhanced Energy & Health
Maturity
Creativity
Cease the cycle of self-destruction
Mental and Emotional freedom
These things only scratch the surface of the ripple effect it truly has on your life. However, It is extremely important to have a healthy connection with self-love before diving deep into the depths of shadow work. You can send yourself on a self hatred rampage if you do not know compassion and patience for yourself. Learn to be accountable enough to know when to ask for help.
The dark side of you deserves your love and will serve you just as the light does. There is no one without the other, but them both in harmony. That is enlightenment. The Universal Laws will help give you structure within this depth when you need a guiding light. Its like getting your hands dirty before reaching the treasure.
This heals generations before and after. The behavioral patterns that you have been brave enough to break! Although it comes with great responsibility, it also comes with great rewards!
Things to Remember: Engaging in Shadow Work
Center and ground yourself. When reflecting on self in an analytical way, it's important to understand balance and when to apply compassion. If you struggle with mental health in any way, pace yourself. This is a healing process.
Self Compassion! Overstand the role having compassion with yourself during your healing journey will be no matter what phase. Allow yourself grace as well as space to simply be in transformation. Taking care of you, honoring your needs, no matter what that may look like for you!
Self Reflect. Be Self-Aware. Who are you beyond the mask you show the world? When the doors are closed and you're sure no one is watching... who are you really? That is the version of you that needs you, especially if the two parallels aren't even closely related. "Find my center, find my peace, find what brings me back to me." Build a foundation you can always find your way back to. There is always a lesson. "What did this teach me?" Use mindful meditation or yoga to help!
Be Honest! No matter what truth you may have to speak, being honest is the most fulfilling way to go. When you are honest with yourself, being honest with those around you comes naturally.
Write Things Down! Throughout your journey, write things down for your reflection. Over time, you'll start to notice growth in the things you write and experience. Get a journal for these things specifically so you don't get intimidated by the thought someone may read it, it's personal. Doing shadow work doesn't mean you have to parade around acknowledging it. Of course you can but it doesn't make you obliged. You still have the freewill to do as you wish.
What's the Gold part?
What makes it golden is what you discover when you've gone through numerous transformations, many life cycles that reveal hidden talent, suppressed creativity, and repressed passion. The Golden shadow comes from bringing consciousness to the dark. Awareness will be your navigation. Unlocking your Sacral Chakra is another way to look at it!
Crystals for Shadow Work:
Root Chakra, Sacral Chakra, and Solar Plexus are the focal chakra points when working with shadow work although alignment inevitable helps as well!
Pace yourself and use the tools around you! Know your boundaries and when to ask for help! Embrace your healing!
Until Next Time
Kam xx
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